Sunday, December 13, 2009

Handicaps

Our good friend, Lao T just returned from CN where he was kind enough to take presents to our son. Dear brother that he is, he always makes it seem like trekking to the other side of one of the world's largest cities to drop some presents or letters to our little boy is no big deal. I have made the journey...and it is a huge deal Lao T. What a blessing to have that kind of a friend.
But, wait, there's more. No, Lao T didn't just drop the presents and run. He went in and spent some time videotaping and chatting. He helped FX read our letters and filmed his responses. He gauged whether or not FX had any idea of what was happening. He gathered info about FX's schooling and his spirits. and rather than just dumping us a tape, he is editing together the footage for us (which I hope we will be able to pass on soon.) Who has friends like that? Oh, we do.
During lunch today, our jet lagged friend was telling us about his trip. At one point in the conversation he turned to me and said, "by the way, he isn't handicapped. I don't think he thinks of himself as handicapped. He gets around everywhere he wants to go. And he directs the other children, taking care of them and telling them what to do."
Tell me about it. He is a most remarkable boy and we fell in love with him instantly. He spends much of his time out of his wheel chair and just rolls around (with lightning speed) to get where he is going. That is a huge part of why we need to renovate the house (or move). If he were just wheel chair bound, we could work out traffic patterns and furnishings. But in our cramped house, he would almost be entirely wheel chair bound because he could only roll a few feet in the living room and could never easily make it down the hall to his own room. Of course, as I write this I know that if this is the best we can do...he will adapt. Not because he has to settle, but because it is what he does. He is an overcomer. I don't want us to cramp or hinder him, but at the same time I know that he won't let himself be hindered...even if he is cramped.
And so, lest anyone think my son is handicapped, I present part two of our first meeting with FX so you can understand what a remarkable person he is. May we all be so handicapable.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Yipes!!!


Sorry, I seemed to have stalled out a bit. The end of the semester is a crunch and we mount a new show on Jan. 4th so things are pretty crunched getting into Christmas break.
Which reminds me.
A good friend was going to CN on business and he was kind enough to drop by some Christmas presents to our son. We actually sent some to the two other older boys as well, so as not to tip our hand. I am attaching some pictures.
About a month ago, YY started figuring out that we were in the process of adopting again. It has been a strange little journey. I wasn't sure if his mind was trying to blend out the fact that we haven't always been with him, but in the last month he has been secure enough to bring it up from time to time. (Not that it has affected his bonding to us. We are bonded supa tight! )
So he started asking about the process. He wants a brother and a sister. He has been excited to talk about bunk beds and sharing his toys. He is so excited.
And then, of course, he figured out it was FX last week. He could hardly be contained. He told me at dinner one night, "FX is going to be my brother and it is all because of me."
I said yes and laughed it off.
I'm not sure that I am laughing anymore. This past week it has become more and more evident to me that it is all because of him. We would never had considered FX without having been changed by YY. We never would have known that FX even existed without YY.
We debated the pros and cons for YY if we did this and we weighed the options for him and FX as well. And in the end, the only reason we were given FX, could even find his paperwork, was because everybody was moved by their special friendship at BS. So, yes, YY. It is because of you or by way of you.
We write our own stories as we go along, but so often we don't really know the whole. We close the chapter and isolate the anecdote without seeing the larger narrative. I had no way to know that meeting son #1 would be God's way of introducing me to son #2 (who is actually, son #1. I guess the first will really be last this time!)
YY prays for FX every night, and at every meal. And he asks me everyday if he can pray for a sister too. I keep telling him that we have to get FX home and settled first, but he says he will still pray anyway.
Why did I teach him about praying so early? We are so hosed.